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Drowning in a Sea of Toddlerhood

October 17, 2018 by wildsunshine Leave a Comment

Yes, you read that right. Drowning. Can we just be honest for a minute about kids? I believe there may be no other tried and true path to losing one’s mind. If you, like me, have several young children, you know what I’m talking about. I have four kids age six and under, including a 12 month old and a 2.5 year old. It’s killing me.

Can we just commiserate for a moment? You’re a parent, surely you can relate. And even if you can’t, I feel like I need to record this snippet of my life. It won’t be like this forever. They will grow up and I will scarcely be able to imagine that it was actually so hard when they were little. Hopefully I can read this post years from now and laugh… perhaps cynically… at how somehow I managed to escape parenting young kids with my sanity.

I do want to mention that I am forever grateful for my babies. I have friends who struggled with infertility. Several who won’t have kids. I had a miscarriage before my first and know that pain well, although it surely pales in comparison to what others face. Gratefulness aside, my reality right now is that of a stay at home mom of four kids.

I’m ragged.

I’m exhausted.

I wake up in the morning to smiling faces that I love dearly. They beam smiles full of sunshine, give me giant hugs, and are filled with a joy that makes me happy to be alive and even happier to call them mine. Then about 10 minutes after breakfast, they start in on the “I’m hungry, I need a snack” brigade. It lasts until lunch. I do nothing with my morning except prepare snacks (does dumping pirate booty out of the bag count? It should…), assist the toddler in pulling down her pants, getting on the potty, and if I’m lucky I get to wipe her bottom before she scoots off the toilet leaving poop marks everywhere. Because she’s the child who will be the next CEO of a large business. That kid knows exactly what she wants, she’s persistent, and doesn’t accept anything less than perfection. If we venture out of the house, I can guarantee we stop at every bathroom along the way and I then have to do the potty routine while also holding a wiggly 12 month old.

I hate public bathrooms.

By the time lunch rolls around, I’m done. I’m trying not to cry tears of frustration because I have gotten nothing accomplished. Not even a single thought to myself. Although I have usually succeeded in hiding in the pantry (thank God it’s a walk in) and I may or may not have eaten an entire bar of dark chocolate while hiding from the incessant screams of the CEO toddler. Another day will pass with no workout, although I had fully intended to go running when I woke up in the morning with so much hope for the day. If I’m lucky, I can find a few minutes at nap time to make a cup of coffee (decaf- caffeine and I don’t get along) with collagen and cocoa powder and fresh cream, because it makes me feel human.

The hardest part of the day is yet to come… the two hours between when all kids wake up around 3:30 and when we eat at 5:30. Somehow I’m supposed to make dinner with two children crying and hanging on my legs, a first grader who I need to assist with reading, and a preschooler who is good as gold and gets nothing for it because I have nothing left of myself after dealing with the demands of the CEO toddler. It breaks my heart. Yet somehow we eat dinner every night, together as a family. At least eating is a requirement for our survival, otherwise I’m not sure we would accomplish dinner.

Mama needs a beer. Cold and dark and of the stout variety, please.

We recently got back from vacation (need to write about those adventures in a separate post) and the lady who owned our VRBO rental was a saint. She had raised nine (9!!!!) children and invited us into her home when our cabin lost power, let our kids snack and play with their grandkids toys and visit with their farm animals. She texted me later that I was a supermom and doing a great job taking my kids to do these things, and to never let anyone tell me otherwise.

I cried. Because as parents we are not told nearly enough that we are doing a great job. We all feel like failures. There is just so much we are told we should do and should not do that the standards for being good are simply unattainable. I cried at the kindness of a stranger, because I need those words in my life waaaaaaay more often.

Particularly more often than the crucifying “enjoy them while they’re little, they grow up so fast.” Don’t say that to me. It makes me want to punch you. Kidding (sort of…) C’mon. We all forget the bad and remember the good. You’re forgiven. But you know your kids drove you nuts when they were little. Keep the reminiscing to yourself and show me some compassion, because if you dig deep down, you will remember these trying times and not just the snuggles and smiles.

So the next time you see a parent with young children, look them in the eye and tell them they are amazing. They are doing a great job. That they will (I hope?) gain their sanity back someday and that their children will turn out wonderfully even if they eat pizza for dinner sometimes. Maybe offer to watch their kids so they can be alone in their own house for an hour. Gosh how I would love that. Offer some adult conversation over coffee. It’s a lonely world when you’re drowning amid toddlers.

You’re doing a great job!

 

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Pretzel with a side of E. Coli

May 10, 2017 by wildsunshine Leave a Comment

Pretzel mischief

I wouldn’t have minded much if either of my first two kids took a liking to the toilet. The only humans using it in our house at the time always remembered to flush and close the lid and close the door to keep the baby out. So when Larkin decided her latest obsession would be the bowl of toilet water and the roll of paper beside it, I don’t think I was fully prepared for battle. After all, I have TWO older kids who are still trying to remember all the things they are supposed to do after using the bathroom. She gets into the trash.

And unrolls toilet paper.

And plays in toilet water.

I can’t take credit for this blog title— that was provided by a good friend and had me rolling with laughter. Are there emojis for blog writing? Because I need a mixture of laughing until I cry and straight up crying. When it was eerily silent in the house the other day, I finally found the little rascal in the bathroom joyfully dipping a pretzel into the toilet. While there was POOP FLOATING IN IT. I’ve never run so fast with a baby to the sink, followed by a lecture on the importance of flushing and closing the bathroom door.

Mom of the year!

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: funny story, third baby, toilet obsession

Maternity + Baby: Noelle

July 8, 2016 by wildsunshine Leave a Comment

I may have been so obsessed with my new camera and lens over the last few months that I begged asked a few friends if they would let me take some maternity and newborn photos. Lucky for me I have some awesome (and super trusting??) friends who willingly agreed. And oh boy did I have a fun time with Noelle and baby Declan (and big brother Atlee, who was a bit camera shy).

The “newborn” shots of Declan were actually more like 1 month photos. I so wish we had been able to get a few more with him sleeping and in some different poses, but between us we have three older toddlers and that was quite a handful to wrangle between snapping some pics.

Y’all… thanks for letting me test out my new gear on your precious family!

 

noelle 2 BWNoelle 3noelle 12Noelle 13 BWNoelle 15Declan 1Declan 3declan 5 BWdeclan 6declan 7declan 9delcan 8

 

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A surfboard for Larkin

June 8, 2016 by Leave a Comment

I finally got started on this girl’s surfboard. She will someday share a room with Pippa, so I wanted to coordinate the salmon pinks that are in Pippa’s surfboard and curtains. Of course now Pippa wants an update (aka more flowers) to her surfboard and Sawyer wants a surfboard too. Good thing this mama is ready to get back to artwork!

Here’s a sneak peek of her Boho chic board:

DSC_0610DSC_0612

photo signature green bee

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PHOTOS: Sunshine and Daffodils

April 29, 2016 by Leave a Comment

One year ago I took photos of the kids running around the yard with handfuls of daffodils. The pics were a bit blurry since my camera was on it’s last life, but I loved the idea and so they hung above our kitchen table for most of the year. One a gorgeous weekend in March when it hit 70 degrees by 10am and we were running all over the yard (well, the kids were running and I was walking fast trying not to sweat to death in my 36 week pregnant and huge body), I wanted a re-do. Boy am I glad I did!

And that field of yellow flowers? It really is an invasive species growing along our neighbor’s creek. They open during the day and close up at night. Invasive or not, they are beautiful and I wish they’d grow along our oh so attractive drainage ditch in the front yard! I feel the same way about dandelions. Love ’em!

I’ve been getting in a good bit of practice photographing in full sun. I do my best to get a shade source over my portrait subjects, and in several of these my hubby willingly stood arching his hands over them to shade their faces so I could grab those catchlights in their eyes without too many funky sunspots.

And PS: I realize you’re reading this a month later, gotta plan for post-baby y’all!

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PHOTOS: Winter Beach days

April 22, 2016 by Leave a Comment

How lucky we are that my parents live at the beach! Before they retired to the coast of NC, I had never been to the beach in the winter. It’s quiet. Peaceful. We have almost the whole beach to ourselves on some days minus a few dog walkers.

In late February we had days in the low 50s and windy, but that didn’t stop the kiddos from running barefoot until their feet froze or they fell over exhausted. Can’t wait to visit again with three littles in tow!

And did I mention I am loving my new iMac? It also helps that I finally upgraded my version of photoshop from the one I had been using… 13 years old might be some sort of record, lol.

#wildsunshine #childhoodunplugged #sunsetbeachnc

beach 1skybeach 2beach 3beach 4beach 5beach 6

photo signature green bee

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PHOTOS: November beach days

April 8, 2016 by Leave a Comment

One reason why I love living in North Carolina… we can go to the beach for Thanksgiving and end up with THIS: beautiful sunny days that are warm enough for the kids to go wading in the water and run around in their underwear.

*images may not be used without written permission

beach1beach 10Beach5




photo signature green bee

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PHOTOS: November Fields

April 1, 2016 by Leave a Comment

I’m a big planner. And when we found out we were expecting baby #3, I knew I wanted to wait and announce it on our Christmas cards. So on Sawyer’s 2nd birthday– the only somewhat nice weekend day we’d had in a month — I dragged the family to a little known spot near the Eno River with a massive meadow to take family photos. Armed with a tripod and lots of warm clothes, we managed 45 minutes of pics before Sawyer lost it and my hubby asked for the thousandth time how many photos I needed.

Then I spent a week in photo nerd heaven editing these pics from my new camera and a borrowed lens.






photo signature green bee

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New surfboards are here

March 11, 2016 by Leave a Comment

Just when I was getting motivated to kick off a batch of these babies… baby #3 decided to make me so darn tired at nap time that it took…forever. But FINALLY! I’m excited to share some of my winter projects now up for sale in my ETSY shop: www.surfpixie.etsy.com.

Come April, I will be on maternity leave for a month or two but I’m hoping to get a few more new designs completed this summer once we settle down as a family of 5.

hibiscus board fuchsia orange1boho lavender 5boho lavender 4

photo signature green bee

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PHOTOS: Farm Fun

February 19, 2016 by Leave a Comment

Way back in the fall we were fortunate enough to meet up with one of my best friends and her boys at a local park that also has an old farm on site. Goes with my farm dreams, no? Here are a few gems of the little ones as I dream of crisp clear days outside.Harrison5 markedHarrison8 markedHarrison6 markedHarrison4 markedHarrison1 marked

photo signature green bee

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Hey Y’all!

I'm Amanda, a mama of four wild things and a growing herd of animals. We just built a farmhouse on our 13 acres of countryside in North Carolina, and are on our way to transform worn out tobacco pasture into a diverse landscape of animals, veggies, orchards, and grapevines. Join me on the farming journey! Read More…

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Good thing we have lots of laundry mountains in th Good thing we have lots of laundry mountains in this house 😂 Also good that she doesn’t shed! #goldendoodlepuppy #farmdog #wildsunshinefarm
180 lbs of homegrown pork!!! Yesterday’s breakfa 180 lbs of homegrown pork!!! Yesterday’s breakfast of eggs and sausage all grown on our land was pretty amazing. Next- learning how to cure the hams and bacon 🥓 🐽 #pastureraised #homesteading #wildsunshinefarm #growyourown
This brisket has been soaking in pickling brine fo This brisket has been soaking in pickling brine for 6 days. Never made corned beef from scratch, but it smells amazing! And this is only half- totally didn’t realize how big an entire Brisket was when I ordered it 😳 #wildsunshinefarm #rookiemistake #fromscratch #cornedbeef
It’s a “frolic in the hose with your clothes o It’s a “frolic in the hose with your clothes on” kind of day! Also enjoying our pigs in their final days on the farm, building pergolas, starting seeds, installing patios and flagstone sidewalks, expanding the chicken run so the garden can recover, and trying to survive virtual school 😉 Phew! Exhausting and beautiful things☀️ #farmkids #wildsunshinefarm #letthembewild #homesteading
Sometimes an emergency grocery store egg pickup is Sometimes an emergency grocery store egg pickup is a beautiful reminder of why I love farm fresh eggs 😍 Not much is as satisfying as feeding my kids nutrient dense food that we raised! Totally doubling our flock size this year... and tripling the size of their run so we can contain the garden-eating beasties. #backyardchickens #homesteadinglife #wildsunshinefarm #nofilter
If you haven’t spent the last 36 hours watching If you haven’t spent the last 36 hours watching your children go mud sledding and doing 189 loads of laundry, you’re missing out. Our one inch of snow was gone by lunch yesterday, and yet... #letthembewild #farmkids #countrylife #sendmoredetergent #wildsunshinefarm #powerofplay
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