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We’re Building a Farmhouse!

January 3, 2019 by wildsunshine Leave a Comment

I kept telling y’all we had some big news!! Remember back in 2017 when I was Seven months pregnant and we bough 13 acres of farmland? We decided that it’s time to make the big move and build out there. I suppose we’re doing it now because there’s no time like the present, right? But actually, it’s a combination of three main reasons:

  1. Our perk test on our land that runs out in early 2020 and we don’t want to have to re-perk the land.
  2. Sawyer starts Kindergarten next fall and we are hoping to avoid too many school switches. I’m that kid who lived in one spot my whole childhood. The friends I knew in Kindergarten are the same people I graduated high school with. I loved it and want something similar for my children.
  3. There’s that small garden we tilled last spring, planted, and watered at the farm. The one where I drove out to that farm at least once a week during the big drought in June and lugged 5 gallon jugs of water through chest-high grass to water the newly planted berries? Yeah. Almost all of it died. Things got CRAZY in our lives with swim team, summer plans, vacation, school starting (mid-July for us) and I gave up on watering. We decided that if we want anything to grow out there, we need to be present to tend to it.

HOW WE CHOSE A BUILDER

Back in August we started talking to builders. We thought we’d go with a modular build, which contrary to our initial thoughts is actually a cost-effective way to build with less waste. Apparently you can build just about any house as a modular home, but the companies we talked with seemed to have trouble turning plans on their own website into actual homes on our land. Hmmm…

We looked at custom builders, but at close to $200 a square foot they were definitely out of our price range.

We ended up settling somewhere in the middle, with a company called America’s Home Place. They offer quite a few plans, and after you choose your plan you can then customize pretty much everything about it. Even bumping out walls, adding rooms, changing layouts. They cost less than the custom builders, and as of right now I believe our home comes in at about $124 a sq. foot.

 

THE HOUSE

I don’t want to think about how many hours I spent pouring over plans this summer. Too many! Ha! We finally settled on the “Ugly House,” which despite its ugly exterior had an open-ish layout with the kitchen/dining/living areas at the front of the home. The way our house is positioned on our lot, it was important to us that we maximize views out the front (west) and right side (south) to see the pastures (maybe vineyards someday) and the pond. And that we had a long southern exposure for tons of natural light and for the possibility of solar in the future.

farmhouse rendering

You can head over to see the original plan HERE. We jokingly call it the ugly house because the upstairs windows are spaced much too far apart, and it’s generally off center. But no worries, we fixed those minor details by adding a garage, wrap around porch, and re-centering windows. Now it looks like a farmhouse!

There are LOTS more details to share about the new house plan itself, what we added, and what we wanted in a house, but I think they warrant a separate post so stay tuned.

OUR TIMELINE

When we mulled over this decision and when would be the right time, it was a no-brainer to try and time our move between school years. In order to finish the new house by late May/early June, we had to sign off on plans by November 1st. And THAT meant that the entire month of September and October I was consumed by house plans. I drew about 6 different plans on giant graph paper, changing things to meet our needs and aiming to meet our budget (I’ll post more on what we’re looking for in a functional farmhouse in a separate post).

September/October

I spent every evening after the kids were in bed drawing and re-drawing plans. Also meeting with the design consultant about twice a week (sometimes with small children hanging off my legs and spilling candy jars in the showroom) to nail down our plans.

Late October:

The week of Halloween was insane. We were working on a tight deadline to nail down ALL the house details (before the designer had a baby and went on maternity leave for 10 weeks). I lived in Pinterest for a week straight. I’ve never pinned so many photos. Then I compiled them in Photoshop and printed pages for each room: kitchen, bathroom, dining room, etc. with paint colors, floors I liked, fixtures. Nothing kills my soul faster than being buried in a computer or cell phone, and my soul was dying. BUT, these are important decisions! I don’t want to move into a new home and hate the paint colors and cabinets because I punked out of doing my research.

Staking the house site

November:

We’ve been working on getting our loan nailed down. Having never built before, we are in completely uncharted waters. We will end up with a construction loan for about 7 months, then close again on a permanent loan in early summer. And for this to happen, they needed our first born child. Joking! Just our entire financial existence. I scanned files for days. Also, I met the builder at the farm last week to stake out where our home will sit. With two toddlers in toe. In 40 degree weather. For a two hours. STICK A FORK IN ME.

December:

I’m exhausted. Hoping to get some rest and relaxation! The builder should be pulling permits. We closed on our construction loan before Christmas. We debate daily about whether to sell or rent our current home. And we are working daily to get it re-painted, clean, and all the tiny broken things fixed so that we can do either. And in all the hustle to start cleaning up our current home and the mess that four children have brought, we broke the all time record for annual rain. Durham, NC got more rain last year than Seattle. And our backyard is a mud pit. SO… being the crazies that we are, we decided to remedy that problem by digging a new walkway over Christmas break. Yeah…

January-May:

Building. Not sure yet what will happens when, but you get the idea. Hoping to move in late June!

 

 

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A Perpetual Mischief Maker Sleeps in our Room

December 13, 2018 by wildsunshine Leave a Comment

My older two started sleeping in big beds around age two. They were great! A few nights setting a gate up at the door to the room and they caught onto the rules. But #3? My wild child and perpetual mischief maker? Noooooooo. She has been sleeping in our room in a pack n play for nearly a year. She needs to go. And by go, I mean move in with the big kids. I fear if she moves in with Bodhi she will bother him all night long and that kid will never sleep again.

Problem number one is she’s a terrible roommate and a night owl. Larkin will stay up in the dark, reading books in that pack n play until 9pm every night. We can’t go upstairs to sleep until then, because heaven help us if we walk into that room and she begins the endless cycle of “I’m thirsty, I have to go potty, etc.” This is probably part of the reason we have such trouble moving her to the big kids bedroom.

The offender

Nevertheless, we tried again over the Thanksgiving break. She was so excited to sleep in a big kid bed with the big kids. It all started well… and then we had to go up there because she’s using the potty and the older ones are trying to wipe her. I’m ok with that. Then she wants to drink more water. Then she’s getting in bed with the big kids. We tried to ignore it and let them work it out on their own until SHE DECIDED TO SIT IN THE CAT LITTER BOX. The box that happens to live in the hall bathroom. That girl sat right in the cat litter because “that’s what the cats do.” GROSS. Covered in poo at 9pm.

And at that point we moved her back to the pack n  play. She won’t still be in that thing as a teenager, right?!?!?

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Fall Break Roadtrip

December 4, 2018 by wildsunshine Leave a Comment

You say fall break started the first week of October? Hmm, so it goes with our crazy life, but I want to make sure I write down the details of this fall break roadtrip before I forget them. This was the first road trip we’ve taken with four kids. Years ago when Pippa was three and Sawyer was an infant we dared to drive to Deep Creek Lake in western Maryland to stay in a lakehouse with my inlaws for a week, and then we took the mountain roads down to the NC mountains for a vacation with my family. At the time we didn’t realize the reason Pippa screamed in the car since she was a baby was because she was getting carsick. BUT… all it took was ten hours on winding roads and several stops to clean up puke to realize why that girl hated car rides. Man, that was a BAD road trip.

Maryland

Cunningham Falls park

We have since taken much shorter vacations (to the beach, anyone?) but finally decided to make a longer trek this fall. Remember that we are in year round school, so our fall break is three weeks long. It makes for amazing travel opportunities when the rest of the world is in school! First we headed north to Maryland to stay with my inlaws for six days. We took the kids hiking at Cunningham Falls state park — a place John and I both went to a lot growing up (we’re both MD born and raised).

Then we did something I never thought I’d get to do: visit John’s grandparents house one last time. We went down there to pick up a box of his dad’s things. I have such great memories of his grandparents, because they became my grandparents at a time when all my grandparents were already gone. I lost my last one when I was in college. So all those beautiful moments when we were engaged and we would sit on the couch for hours listening to stories about the war, and how they lived in military housing in Europe, and how they worked in the factories outside of DC. Grandparents have the best stories and I wish my own had been alive when I was just a bit older.

I never thought I’d get to see that house again. And then, we were there. The place was completely unchanged! The walls were still mint green, the original kitchen appliances from the 1940s still in place. I admired how small it was compared to today’s homes and how three kids grew up there, and I felt a little silly for thinking I need a bigger kitchen.

I think of all the places I would love to visit just one last time.

We took the kids to the Enchanted Forest (another place from my childhood – ha!) although it’s been relocated to a farm. The kids rode ponies, played with goats, got foam swords. We went to the local farm – Larriland – to do an awesome hayride and pick out apples. Man do I wish we had stayed just a bit longer to pick pumpkins and apples from the fields. Sometimes being a slave to nap times makes me a grouch.

Pippa and Sawyer spent countless hours riding skateboard scooters down my inlaws’ driveway, and honestly I’m surprised it didn’t end with a trip to the ER with how fast those wild things went! Wish I had a video of that.

Luray Caverns

Luray Caverns…pre screaming toddler

We left Maryland and drove the mountain road through Shenandoah, and guess who didn’t get sick! Three cheers for a car trip without puke!!!! We stopped in Luray at the cutest deli for lunch, then took the kids on a tour of the caves. When you have four kids, you worry that the oldest will miss out on fun things if you always wait for the youngest to be age appropriate for something. So the heck with it, we thought. Pippa and Sawyer will love to see a cave! So we signed up for the tour. And then there we were… stuck with a group of 60 year olds on a one hour tour where we couldn’t leave the group behind for fear we’d get left in the dark in a cave. Larkin was laughing hysterically. So much so that we couldn’t hear the tour guide. We faded to the back of the group when Bodhi started fussing, because EVERYTHING ECHOES. It was bad. Then they went to play this underground organ that echoes over three miles of caves, and THAT is when Larkin decides to scream and run away down a side cave. It was super embarrassing, but we were stuck. Those poor people. We won’t be touring anymore caves for a few years!

Watauga Lake, TN

After Luray, we drove south and stopped approximately every 20 minutes so that Larkin could use the bathroom. PS: don’t take a long road trip with a potty training toddler. YOu’d think we’d have learned that by kid #3! At dinner time we decided to stop and grocery shop, because the cabin we rented was in the middle of nowhere. We grabbed a rotisserie chicken, chips, and veg tray and headed to a park for a picnic. Then after two more hours in the car (and a total of 12.5 hours from Maryland where we started our trip) we arrived at this super cute cabin.

The cordwood cabin in TN

The owners lived down the lane, and their four sons had built this cordwood cabin from scratch. How cool is that? It was beautiful and rustic and the kids loved climbing up to the loft and playing in all the secret nooks. We were there while Hurricane Michael was coming up the east coast, and of the four days we spent here it rained three of them. We lost power the first day and those sweet owners invited us down to their home to play with toys. They had chickens, peacocks, miniature horses (which we spent the better part of three days feeding), and a dog named Lollipop (which Larkin talked about non-stop for the rest of our trip). We cooked dinner on the charcoal grill in the rain until the power came back on.

Pippa loved those mini ponies!

Larkin and Lollipop

Roan Mountain views

Watauga Lake after the storm

Trying not to blow away

Day two we drove to Johnson City to a children’s museum. Finally the rain stopped enough for us to have a campfire, so the rest of the nights we ate s’mores for dessert looking up at the mountain. The kids played nonstop in the mud puddles and we took lots of baths! The last day here we were supposed to go to Tweetsie Railroad, but the weather was going to be super cold and windy! So instead we drove to Roan Mountain and hiked up to the grassy bald. It was one of the most beautiful hikes I’ve been on in the Smokies, but it was about 35 degrees with constant wind. It was so gusty that Larkin kept getting blown over. We didn’t have winter coats with us so we were bundled in 3 pairs of pants and blankets to make the half mile hike up there. The kids were such good sports! And afterwards they agreed that it was a really cool hike. We hit up the state park playground after and warmed up.

Carowinds

Then, because we are crazy, we decided to make up our trip to Tweetsie (that the kids had been bummed to miss) by stopping at Carowinds amusement park on our way home… which really was 2.5 hours out of our way. The day was beautiful, but it was so dang crowded! I think everyone was there for the fall festival stuff they had going on. And watching three kids (wearing Bodhi in a carrier) was super stressful. We waited about 40 minutes per ride, which we thought was long and torturous. Is Disney this bad? Hmm….

The highlight of the day for the big kids was definitely riding on the wooden “kiddie” roller coaster. I had fun on it, so it wasn’t so little 🙂 We didn’t realize how early the park closed for their scary nighttime event, so this mama was bummed to not get to hop on just one big roller coaster. Next time, right? Ha! We drove 2.5 hours home and got home well after bedtime, which brings me to the worst greeting ever upon returning from a road trip….

Mold in our House

Yep. We had lost power for 48 hours because of the Hurricane, and before that I had set our AC to come on at a higher temp THAT OUR HOUSE NEVER REACHED. Then we got all the rain and no power for two days. Anyway, everything felt damp. We went right to bed, and the next morning as I was sitting on the couch nursing Bodhi I noticed that everything was GREEN. Mold was everywhere. We spent a crazy two days cleaning everything in sight and renting the upholstery cleaner… the whole nine yards. It was terrible. As if gobs of laundry isn’t enough to handle after two weeks away!

Wow, that was a long post. I’m trying to be better about documenting things like this, because it is so fun to look back on all the details. Thanks for joining the journey!

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Drowning in a Sea of Toddlerhood

October 17, 2018 by wildsunshine Leave a Comment

Yes, you read that right. Drowning. Can we just be honest for a minute about kids? I believe there may be no other tried and true path to losing one’s mind. If you, like me, have several young children, you know what I’m talking about. I have four kids age six and under, including a 12 month old and a 2.5 year old. It’s killing me.

Can we just commiserate for a moment? You’re a parent, surely you can relate. And even if you can’t, I feel like I need to record this snippet of my life. It won’t be like this forever. They will grow up and I will scarcely be able to imagine that it was actually so hard when they were little. Hopefully I can read this post years from now and laugh… perhaps cynically… at how somehow I managed to escape parenting young kids with my sanity.

I do want to mention that I am forever grateful for my babies. I have friends who struggled with infertility. Several who won’t have kids. I had a miscarriage before my first and know that pain well, although it surely pales in comparison to what others face. Gratefulness aside, my reality right now is that of a stay at home mom of four kids.

I’m ragged.

I’m exhausted.

I wake up in the morning to smiling faces that I love dearly. They beam smiles full of sunshine, give me giant hugs, and are filled with a joy that makes me happy to be alive and even happier to call them mine. Then about 10 minutes after breakfast, they start in on the “I’m hungry, I need a snack” brigade. It lasts until lunch. I do nothing with my morning except prepare snacks (does dumping pirate booty out of the bag count? It should…), assist the toddler in pulling down her pants, getting on the potty, and if I’m lucky I get to wipe her bottom before she scoots off the toilet leaving poop marks everywhere. Because she’s the child who will be the next CEO of a large business. That kid knows exactly what she wants, she’s persistent, and doesn’t accept anything less than perfection. If we venture out of the house, I can guarantee we stop at every bathroom along the way and I then have to do the potty routine while also holding a wiggly 12 month old.

I hate public bathrooms.

By the time lunch rolls around, I’m done. I’m trying not to cry tears of frustration because I have gotten nothing accomplished. Not even a single thought to myself. Although I have usually succeeded in hiding in the pantry (thank God it’s a walk in) and I may or may not have eaten an entire bar of dark chocolate while hiding from the incessant screams of the CEO toddler. Another day will pass with no workout, although I had fully intended to go running when I woke up in the morning with so much hope for the day. If I’m lucky, I can find a few minutes at nap time to make a cup of coffee (decaf- caffeine and I don’t get along) with collagen and cocoa powder and fresh cream, because it makes me feel human.

The hardest part of the day is yet to come… the two hours between when all kids wake up around 3:30 and when we eat at 5:30. Somehow I’m supposed to make dinner with two children crying and hanging on my legs, a first grader who I need to assist with reading, and a preschooler who is good as gold and gets nothing for it because I have nothing left of myself after dealing with the demands of the CEO toddler. It breaks my heart. Yet somehow we eat dinner every night, together as a family. At least eating is a requirement for our survival, otherwise I’m not sure we would accomplish dinner.

Mama needs a beer. Cold and dark and of the stout variety, please.

We recently got back from vacation (need to write about those adventures in a separate post) and the lady who owned our VRBO rental was a saint. She had raised nine (9!!!!) children and invited us into her home when our cabin lost power, let our kids snack and play with their grandkids toys and visit with their farm animals. She texted me later that I was a supermom and doing a great job taking my kids to do these things, and to never let anyone tell me otherwise.

I cried. Because as parents we are not told nearly enough that we are doing a great job. We all feel like failures. There is just so much we are told we should do and should not do that the standards for being good are simply unattainable. I cried at the kindness of a stranger, because I need those words in my life waaaaaaay more often.

Particularly more often than the crucifying “enjoy them while they’re little, they grow up so fast.” Don’t say that to me. It makes me want to punch you. Kidding (sort of…) C’mon. We all forget the bad and remember the good. You’re forgiven. But you know your kids drove you nuts when they were little. Keep the reminiscing to yourself and show me some compassion, because if you dig deep down, you will remember these trying times and not just the snuggles and smiles.

So the next time you see a parent with young children, look them in the eye and tell them they are amazing. They are doing a great job. That they will (I hope?) gain their sanity back someday and that their children will turn out wonderfully even if they eat pizza for dinner sometimes. Maybe offer to watch their kids so they can be alone in their own house for an hour. Gosh how I would love that. Offer some adult conversation over coffee. It’s a lonely world when you’re drowning amid toddlers.

You’re doing a great job!

 

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Hey Y’all!

I'm Amanda, a mama of four wild things and a growing herd of animals. We just built a farmhouse on our 13 acres of countryside in North Carolina, and are on our way to transform worn out tobacco pasture into a diverse landscape of animals, veggies, orchards, and grapevines. Join me on the farming journey! Read More…

Recent Posts

  • Lemon Ice Cream for Summertime
  • Blueberry Cobbler with Honey Biscuit topping
  • Rustic Farmhouse Banana Bread
  • We’re Building a Farmhouse!
  • A Perpetual Mischief Maker Sleeps in our Room

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